The "Out-of-Place" Father

I had an argument with my wife the other night. It went as a lot of arguments do, she asked me to do something in a different manner and I took offense and responded and then we got into an argument. It seems to me that, when I was younger and when I was single, I was able to take criticism a lot better. Someone would tell me to do something a different way and I would just say "Okay" and change how I did something. If I was confused as to why I was wrong, I might ask and even argue my point a little but, overall, I was able to accept criticism with grace. But now... The big thing for me is...I do not know why. I know my wife is just asking me to do something in a way that would please her more...and I do want to please my wife. Not to an unhealthy level (although it must be admitted that I have some enabler tendencies that I must fight against and a rescuer outlook to boot) but just that I want my wife to be happy and to think I do a good job. Of course, today I...

Today at work one of my coworkers brought in her son to work. This boy is in the 5th grade and already is talking about how he might be President some day. I asked him what his platform would be and he said "Equality." I asked him what he meant when he said that and he talked about how he was for feminism but not for the third wave (not sure what that is) type of feminism which has become very extreme. He claimed he wanted to run as an Independent candidate and said if he did he would want to run with the Green Party. There was a lot more to our conversation and I can tell you this boy has a good head on his shoulders. It is not that I agree with the Green Party or even most of his positions but it was nice to talk to him and listen to him explain himself, his views, and his politics. I listened to him. I listened to understand. Not because I am going to change my position on politics or even because I am going to change my voting style or record in 26 years when he can run...

I appreciate change and different things. And I am not talking about some lip service way of saying I like change but then only hanging out with people who look, think, and act like me. Those who only say they like diversity when it is really because they are a part of some minority (and I am not just talking race but using the term to also describe groups that are not a part of mainstream thought or action) group. I have a friend on Facebook who is incredibly liberal. There is nothing wrong with that, yet she claims to be open and accepting but she will not allow any room for dissenting thought or opinion on her Facebook groups. I am also a part of a Conservative Christian Facebook group where I have seen, time and again, the group turn on one of the most active and very conservative members just because he/she may disagree or have a different way of looking at things in one, very small, area of opinion. I can handle both of these things just because I do understand largely how the wo...

Ephesians 5:25-27   New International Version (NIV) 25  Husbands, love your wives,  just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her   26  to make her holy,  cleansing [ a ]  her by the washing  with water through the word,   27  and to present her to himself  as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. As I said at the beginning, I know not all of you who read this will be Christian and this is not intended to be a religious blog, but I am a Christian and this shapes my worldview. The Bible in this instance is talking about sacrifice. My question and the thing I have been wondering for a long time is how much is too much sacrifice. What I mean by that is there is a point that your "sacrifices" turn you into a doormat or they become enabling if you have a spouse who has addiction issues. Where is the line that you draw. Society today tells us that we have to look ou...

Sometimes...often times...I get tired of fathers being portrayed as dunces. From Daddy Pig on Peppa Pig  to Homer Simpson, it seems as though how fathers are viewed in society is becoming increasingly silly, bumbling, and overall difficult to respect. Here is the twist though...I often feel a lot like those fathers. yuuummmm...doughnut (or however you spell the dang thing!) I try as hard as I can to be a good husband, father, and man. I read multiple blogs and advice columns (some Christian, some scientific, some just from ordinary people) on child rearing and how to be a good husband. I remember being single and things were so much easier then. I only had to look after myself. If there was some sort of mess up I only had myself to blame. Because of this, I was able to spend a lot more time and brain power devoted to being "up with things" and I felt as though I had more energy to devote to the apparent divide that is taking place now a days. "I an expert at...